My comments in purple!
Use these tactics to turn sibling rivalry into sibling revelry.
Wow～it sounds so attractive! (monotone)
1. Your sibling constantly passes judgment on your career or your kids
Just get over it? No. You don't have to stand for it. By putting you down, he's probably trying to make himself feel better.
What to do: "Be assertive, but not defensive," "You may not be able to change his behavior, but you can change the way you respond," says Marcia Millman, a professor of sociology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Tell him what you think, then "try disarming him by telling a joke or mentioning something about him that you genuinely admire," she says. You can choose to act like an adult, even if he can't.
"Well done! You're such a genius!" I used to ADMIRE her when I stepped on a hair pin or something made me hurt so bad.
Unfortunately, she never fancy my joke.
2. Getting stuck with planning family party or buying group gift
Just get over it? Yes. You were the type-A kid, right? And siblings always looked on. They're probably not lazy now. They're just repeating those childhood roles.
What to do: Don't do everything yourself. Give your siblings a chance to pitch in, and make them feel appreciated. "Your sibling probably needs to feel important," says Goldenthal. "Some people need a lot of acknowledgment or flattery."
I always give her chances to do something and try my best to make her feel so important.
Then, she will think that she's too important to do any thing.
Okay, fine. I have to do everything by myself in the end.
3. Your sibling always thinks that he or she is right.
Oh, think this is me. I used to boss her around without patience. I'm terrible sorry. (ironically)
4. Your strapped-for-cash sibling never fails to hit you up for a loan
Just get over it? No. Say something. He may have a problem with money management that needs to be fixed.
What to do: If this happens a lot, your sibling may actually benefit more if you say no to the loan. Try to find other ways to help: Recommend that he see a credit counselor, or help him create a budget. If you do decide to lend money, draft and cosign a document stating how much was lent, the date, and when the money will be returned.
Sample script: "I'm going to lend you this money, but I expect you to pay me back according to our agreement. And let's make an appointment right now for you to see a credit counselor. I'll come."
Everybody knows that She has a problem with money management that needs to be fixed.
But I have to even things out that she usually find other ways to make money instead of turning to family.
It's really appreciated.
Oh, if she can pay me back earlier by half year AFTER our agreement, I will deeply appreciate her kindness.
5. Your sibling doesn't like your spouse
I don't care whether she likes my husband or not. If I get married, I won't live with her. Then, the fights between us won't be happend again. Happy ending! Oh, finally I figure out a solution－finding someone to marry me. Hey, Ruby! Do you get my message? I think no need to go over with the following ways. Done~
I don't care whether she likes my husband or not.
If I get married, I won't live with her. Then, the fights between us won't be happend again. Happy ending!
Oh, finally I figure out a solution－finding someone to marry me. Hey, Ruby! Do you get my message?
I think no need to go over with the following ways. Done~